Ryan Serhant of Bravo’s Million Dollar Listing New York and Sell It Like Serhant, is a real estate powerhouse, an author, and the star of his own YouTube channel (you can subscribe here). He’s also learned a LOT about dealing with people — personally and professionally — and he’s sharing those lessons with Personal Space.
You’ll never have any sort of life/work balance so let’s toss that out the window right now. My wife Emilia and I are not even looking for that. Instead we have a synergistic relationship (an SAT word right there) where what we do together is greater than the sum of our individual efforts, and we respect and value each other for what’s brought to the table.
Compassion is Key
To me, the ideal is to achieve synergy with compassion — you want to be compassionate at work, compassionate at home, and you want to have synergy between both. You’ll never really be balanced in life at all if you just go to work and then you just go home. They can’t be two separate places like that. They can be two physically separate places, and that’s healthy, but you need to continue the conversation everywhere to make your life feel complete. So, at home you should be talking about your life together and talking about each other’s work and, at work, you are talking about work, and you’re talking about home.
Relationship issues can quickly come up when you keep bad things at work at work, and just bottle them up inside, or keep the joy from wins to yourself and shortchange the people you love on the good as well. Things have been best when Emilia has been included in what I do, and I'm included in what she does, and it’s a partnership that way.
Keep Them in the Loop
My whole life is email, we haven’t moved on from that yet, so that’s another way to stay close. I get over a thousand emails a day and sometimes I can just BCC her on certain things, like we got a deal done, a deal died, or about this project, or this person’s crazy. She doesn’t reply; she gets them so she’s in the loop about it and then we can discuss what happened, and how I feel, and she’s prepared. Or, we don’t have to talk about it at all more than her saying ‘man, that thing you did at noon was crazy.’
Save the Best Parts for Your Partner
As a real estate broker, I deal with people’s feelings every day, with highly emotional beings, often having many emotional feelings. I’ve learned how to deal with that and I take everything I’ve learned through work and personal relationships and I try to use it to the best of my ability in all aspects of my life.
There always has to be a little compromise there, or openness to compromise, to make things work. I’ve tried to really make sure that, even though I’m paid to be compassionate at work all day long with highly emotional people, I should be incredibly compassionate when I get home too, and that I shouldn’t be spent by the time I get there. I should always leave the best parts for Emilia.
For even more Ryan, tune in to MDLNY on Mondays at 9/8c, and catch all of season 1 of Sell It Like Serhant here.
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